Signposts On The Way

Deep listening is an act of love. When I really listen, I strip myself of everything to open myself to newness.  Listening is the attempt to let go of my preconceived ideas in order to approach the other or to simply IS with respect.   However, it turns out that it is extremely difficult to let go and surrender what is mine in order to approach and enter into relationship with the other, especially when I do not share his/her beliefs, attitudes or actions.   Or, as Jesus points out to all of us in this week’s Gospel, when we simply harden our hearts.

 

I dare say that hardening our heart is not the origin of the problem, but the consequence facing our encounters with and from our mind, and not from a place of attention.  That is, when we choose to unload our judgments, thoughts and laws and put ideas (especially about what is good and bad) above the actual encounter with who or what I have present.   It seems to me that this is what is happening in the conversation between the disciples and Jesus; they have much more interest in confirming their own ideas of what is lawful or right, mental concepts, than in loving attention and listening to the relationship between people.   Moreover, this is what seems to be happening in the country, where it is increasingly difficult to have respectful conversations.   With a hardened heart, neither marital relationships nor democracies function.

 

Experience confirms that when we feel listened to, something wonderful happens. When someone truly lets go, or at least suspends their pre-judgments or reactions, to listen to us, we naturally expand.  Mutual listening opens up the world of newness where relationships come alive and grow.  In truth, without returning to that innate capacity we have for wonder in the face of novelty, a capacity that children have before they “learn” the laws and concepts of the adult world, it is impossible to relate to each other with purity of heart.   Perhaps this week we can focus on practicing active listening to that which I tend to disagree with, willing to let go of what is mine and see something new in the other.